Tuesday, February 27, 2018

As My Heart Dies-Chp80

[inside the med bay, Peepers was there in bed, covered in bandages, n there, where his left arm used to be, was completely gone, amputated from the elbow dwn]

Brad: (entered) ...Peepers?

Peepers: [hears Brad n slowly stirs] Nnhh...? Hotshot...? [his eye tried to adjust to the light] W-Where am I...?

Brad: You're in the Medic Bay. :(

Peepers: U... U got us bk to base...? Wow, didn't think u reli were a hotsh-- [his words stopped wen he tries to get n saw his missing arm] Wat the...? My... My...

Brad: Sorry, Peepers... but they had to rid of the arm to stop the vemon from killing you.

Peepers: [stared at his missing arm for a long time before he glared at Brad] U... I told u to leave me... Why didn't u leave me behind...?

Brad: It's not the type of person I am... I used to be, but not anymore...

Peepers: Well u should hv! I told u I'd slow u dwn! I saved u from tht monster so tht u can get away! This is war! I'm Commander Peepers the Watchdog of Lord Hater's force! I should've died in the field like the rest of my comrades! Now look at me! LOOK AT ME!! [shook his arm stub at him angrily] A GOB-DAMN FREAK!!

Brad: :| No, you are NOT a freak! And you think Hater will want someone to join him when he's dead dead??

Peepers: Maybe he might appreciate the company, hv u thought of tht?! Why did u evn save me? Why didn't u just leave me there n save urself?! WHY?!

Brad: IT'S CALLED DEVELOPING FEELINGS FOR YOU, SMARTASS!!

Peepers: :O [was at loss of words for a moment, then he shut his eye tight n looked dwn, hugging his empty limb as his body shook]

Brad: :O I...I'm sorry, I shouldn't have yelled, if you want me to just leave, I can--

Peepers: SHUT UP! Just... Just shut up... [started sobbing out loud as he hugged his empty limb tighter, his tears dripping onto his lap as he shook harder frm his sobs n sniffles] ;(

Brad: :( (reached out a hand slowly to comfort the Watchdog)

Peepers: [suddenly buried his face into Brad's chest, sobbing hard, holding Brad's arm tight with his one good arm] ;(

Brad: :O (slowly pulled Peepers close to him, rubbing his back and making hushing sounds)

Peepers: [sobbed for a good 15 mins, letting it all out in Brad's arms]

Brad: (remained silent, allowing the Watchdog to sob it all out)

Peepers: [finally calmed dwn, then whispered] .....Why me...?

Brad: Hm?

Peepers: Why me...? Of all ppl to hv feelings for... Why me...? I thought ur... into women...

Brad: Honestly... I've been Bi Curious for some time.

Peepers: Huh? Since wen?

Brad: As a teen, actually. But I focused mostly on girls trying to deny I had no interest in guys and that did include Demurra and it worked for some time...but now...

Peepers: Ohh... Bt why me specifically? I don't exactly remember ever encouraging u or anything...

Brad: Well, it IS true you can't always choose whom you fall in love with. Just a thing that happens on its own.

Peepers: [looked dwn] Bt... Wat would u hope to achieve if I didn't return ur feelings? Wat if I didn't like u the way u like me...?

Brad: ...I wouldn't force you for one thing. If you find someone else better then me, it's YOUR choice to make and all.

Peepers: I... [groaned] Uuughhh, this is SO confusing for me! I don't plan on encouraging u, n I nvr planned on being ur friend, n yet here I am, always drawn to u, always thinking abt u, all those stupid little cute things u do just makes me so.... Ugh! So much feels! N then u go n call me "princess" somehow makes my heart all a-flutter wen it shouldn't and... And... Uuughhh~~!!! [threw his good arm up in frustration, wincing at the sting of his injuries] (doh)

Brad: ^^;; Easy there. And listen, if you're not fully ready about this, we can just stay as friends for the time being. See where we end up along the way? :)

Peepers: Well, regardless if I'm ready or not, it's too late now, isn't it? Apparently my heart has decided that it's developed feelings for u too, the more than friends type, which is so grob-damn frustrating! Argh!! It's like my heart is in love with u bt my brain is not cooperating!

Brad: (rubbed his back) You're really certain about this?

Peepers: Maybe, maybe not, I dunno! All I know is my heart hurts everytime I think abt u, everytime I fear tht u might not like me bk, or use me as a rebound for ur thing with Demurra. My heart has probably decided tht it is urs the moment u stole my first kiss. It probably already knows we're meant for each other. Bt my brain is trying to reject all this, reject n dismiss this feeling as impulse or whatever. I feel like a huge contradicting mess right now... [tears of hurt n confusion clung to his eye]

Brad: ..You were taught being gay was a bad thing as a child?

Peepers: No, our species can breed even if it's a male couple. I just... I dunno... Maybe I just... Nvr been in love before. I don't know how...

Brad: ... :) That's why you have me now.

Peepers: :^) Pfft, don't be so full of urself, hotshot... (yawn)

Brad: (giggle) You try and rest now, take it easy. (patted his head)

Peepers: OK... (yawn) [laid bk n rested, closing his eyes n was immediately asleep] |-)

Brad: :) ... (leaned in to kiss his forehead and left him to sleep)

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